NOAH TODAY

    Paul Kemp Administrator
    Last updated by Paul Kemp Administrator

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    NOAH TODAY


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    In the year 2013, the Lord came unto Noah,

    who was now living in Oregon and said:



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    "Once again, the earth has become evil and I see the end of all flesh before me. 



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    Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans." 



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    He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."



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    Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark.



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    "Noah!," He roared, "I have started the rain! Where is the Ark?"



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    "Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed."



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    "I needed a Building Permit."



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    "I've been arguing with the Boat Inspector

    about the need for a sprinkler system."



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    "My neighbors claim that I've violated the

    Neighborhood By-Laws by building the Ark in my back garden and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Local Planning Committee for a decision."



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    "Then the Local Council and the Electric Company demanded a boat load of money for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea.



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    I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it."



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    "Getting the wood was another problem. 



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    There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the Greater Spotted Barn Owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - 

    but no go!"



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    "When I started gathering the animals the ASPCA took me to court.



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    They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space."



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    "Then the Environmental Protection Agency ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood."



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    "I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew."



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    "Immigration are checking the Visa status of most of the people who want to work."



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    "The trades unions say I can't use my sons."



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    "They insist I have to hire only Union workers with ark-building experience."



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    "To make matters worse, the Internal Revenue Service seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species."



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    "So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark."



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    Their was a pause in the inquiries.



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    The rains became torrential!



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    Water fell in wind driven sheets and waves!





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    Thunders & Lightening Flashed with profusion!



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    The sounds were deafening!



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    The crew hung their heads. 



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    We were all waiting for the worst!



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    "Suddenly
    the skies cleared, 

    the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky." 



    Noah looked up in wonder and asked,

    "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"



    "No," said the Lord.

    " The Government beat me to it."




    The End!!!
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